i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, i take it as the ultimate compliment when someone who hates me makes the effort to spend time at moby.com.
i don’t fully understand why someone who hates me would want to spend hours on my web-site, but i’m kind of simple and there are a lot of things that i don’t understand.
like the platypus. a poisonous mammal that lays eggs? that baffles me.
even moreso than someone who hates my guts but yet spends the better part of a day thinking about me and writing about me. but if someone who hates me wants to give up hours and hours of their day to focus on me and the relatively irrelevant nonsense that surrounds me as a public figure, well that’s ok with me, i guess.
it is a free country, after all. well, at least until i get elected.
then you’ll see.
my first act in office will be to establish the platypus as the national animal.
i have nothing against bald eagles, but wouldn’t it be cool to have the platypus as our national animal?
oh, sure, some people might whine about the fact that the platypus is in no way indigenous to north america, but so what? neither are most of the people who live in north america. so wouldn’t it make sense to take some utterly bizarre antipodean creature and make it our national animal?
and how about a new national anthem? i nominate ‘happy birthday’ as our new national anthem. it’s simple, everyone knows it, and it’s almost impossible to fuck up when you’re singing it. let me actually count, how many words are in ‘happy birthday’…
happy. birthday. to. you. dear. pro-noun.
6 words.
as the united states continues its entropic slide into illiteracy wouldn’t it make sense to have a national anthem that only has 6 words?
have fun at moby.com, and if you’re new here and you hate my guts you might want to look around and find more things about me to hate.
like my annoying drawings, and my hypocritical discography, and my repellent links to charitable web-sites, etc.
if you hate me you’ll find a whole bunch of stuff to hate about me here at moby.com.
thanks for visiting.
ok, goodnight.
moby
p.s-did i spell repellent correctly? is it repellant? or repelent? i could go get a dictionary, but that would involve getting up out of my chair…you see my dilemma.