i’m sure that you have all seen this, but i thought i’d post it anyway:
resume
george w. bush
the white house, usa
education and experience:
law enforcement: i was arrested in kennebunkport, maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. i pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. my texas driving record has been “”lost”” and is not available.
military: i joined the texas air national guard and went awol. i refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. by joining the texas air national guard, i was able to avoid combat duty in vietnam.
college: i graduated from yale university with a low c average. i was a cheerleader.
past work experience:
i ran for us congress and lost.
i began my career in the oil business in midland, texas, in 1975. i bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in texas. the company went bankrupt shortly after i sold all my stock.
i bought the texas rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
with the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including enron ceo ken lay), i was elected governor of texas.
accomplishments as governor:
i changed texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making texas the most polluted state in the union.
during my tenure, houston replaced los angeles as the most smog-ridden city in america.
i cut taxes and bankrupted the texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
i set the record for the most executions by any governor in american history.
with the help of my brother, the governor of florida, and my father’s appointments to the supreme court, i became president after losing by over 500,000 votes.
accomplishments as president:
i invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
i spent the us surplus and effectively bankrupted the us treasury.
i shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in us history.
i set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
i set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the us stock market.
i am the first president in us history to enter office with a criminal record.
i set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-yearperiod.
after taking off the entire month of august, i presided over the worst security failure in us history.
in my state of the union address, i lied about our reasons for attacking iraq, and then blamed the lies on our british friends.
i set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a us president.
in my first year in office, over 2 million americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
i set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
i appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in us history.
i set the record for least number of press conferences of any president since the advent of television.
i presided over the biggest energy crisis in us history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
i presided over the highest gasoline prices in us history.
i have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families — in wartime.
i have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest against me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
i’ve broken more international treaties than any president in us history.
i’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in us history. my “”poorest millionaire,”” condoleeza rice, has a chevron oil tanker named after her.
i am the first president in us history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the mil