in spending quality time with one’s pet rat one might be tempted to give it a nickname. with this in mind, might i suggest a few rat based nicknames that i’ve been trying out as of late? mashed potato dog. appropriate somehow, although i’m not sure why. nippy. a shorter, cuter version of ‘captain nipper’. this in no way implies that she’s a biter. she doesn’t bite people. monkey dog. similar to ‘mashed potato dog’, but different. fuzzy. kind of obvious, but still appropriate. little mouse. a misnomer, certainly, but it makes her feel good about her physique cos she’s so fucking fat. little sweetie. cos that’s what she is. any or all of these nicknames could be used on your own pet rat. or, in a pinch, they could also be used on the boy/girl friend of your choice. i do not recommend using these nicknames on the big, tough rats that prowl our nations subways and riverbanks. using a cute nickname on a tough city rat might offend said rat and result in his/her kicking your butt. thank you for listening, moby
Category: Journal