i’m going to be reading a couple of poems at the howl festival this weekend.
‘why?’ you might ask?
well, because the howl festival is a very worthy thing, and my friend dimitri(erstwhile martial arts master and writer)writes poems on the subway and i think that they are great and entertaining.
here’s one for your general edification.
-moby
i am afraid
by dimitri ehrlich
i am afraid
of being unduly swayed
of getting hosed, conned, jimmied or played
that the tips of my most crucial wires might be frayed
that my flightã•s been delayed
of the rich and the poor and the just underpaid
i am afraid
of the shit that kids do when theyã•re in the 9th grade
of jonestown, guyana and the poisoned koolaid
that the new yorkerã•s forgotten the prose of jamaica kincaid
of counties like cork, broward and dade
of career arcs that sag like that of poor dennis quade
i am afraid
of the dark and the light and the cool dappled shade
i am afraid
of that mullet-style haircut with the one little braid
of loans, unemployment, stamps and financial aid
of child molesting priests and the prayers they prayed
i am afraid
of mick jaggerã•s daughters, especially jade
that the gleam in our eyes will inexorably fade
of mice, rats, and men and the plans that they laid
that if i donã•t rinse my glass, iã•m drinking a trace of cascade
that the normans are rising and about to invade
of the places in china, where the things made there are made
i am afraid
that i broke up with girlfriends when i ought to have stayed
that iã•ll wind up like the partidge family manager, ruben kincaid
of vodka-flavored beer and mikeã•s hard lemonade
that my old baseball cards wonã•t sell well or trade
that there are questions of import i will not evade
that i canã•t swim or paddle, tread water, or wade
i am afraid
that the trees blocking my view of the forest are really a glade
that iã•ll be unable to sleep in the bed that i made
i am afeard
of a one-eyed egyptian with a long clericã•s beard
that the data i sent off by fax has been smeared
that i was raised just to front, but not properly reared
that by the time i sit down my place will have been cleared
that my work will be liked–but never revered
that my hedge fundã•s been sheared
that my breakfast smelled weird
i am scared
that my plans will be snared
that my shame will be bared
that the boy scouts arenã•t really prepared
of the dirt in my laundry which has yet to be aired
of the shrink i once went to who just sat there and stared
of being the last one left standing when the whole world is paired
that iã•ll be uncared
or someone will kill me just because he was dared
iã•m scared
of the secrets i probably shouldnã•t have shared
that the damage iã•ve done cannot be repaired
that my child wonã•t be nannied, baby sat or au paired
scared that iã•ll be made chairman and then get unchaired
iã•m scared.