a few months ago i went down to dc with my friend alexandra to see her movie ‘friend of god’.
the movie was great, and after it ended we all went up to the hotel bar to drink cheap domestic beer(truly and sadly, my favorite kind of beer. my low-brow tastes don’t just extend to die hard movies and trashy airport fiction, i also really like cheap domestic beer…mea culpa).
because it was dc(the land of politics), and because alexandra’s mom is the first female speaker of the house, and because alexandra worked in news media for a long time, the bar was crowded with an interesting and disparate bunch of people.
acolyte’s looking to touch the hem of speaker pelosi’s garment. journalists trading stories about afghanistan. etc.
and i know that ‘etc’ is the lazy person’s way of avoiding long winded or detailed
narrative. so be it. i like ‘etc’.
at one point i found myself talking to some journalists about politics and travel and family histories. i told one of the journalists that i have a 1/2 brother somewhere(it’s true, before my mom had me she had a baby who was put up for adoption) whom i’ve never met.
the journalist asked me ‘do you have any idea who he is or where he might be?’
and i jokingly said ‘maybe it’s karl rove.’
ha ha. bar-room comedy.
a week later the journalist wrote this up as a story on politico.com(it must have been a very slow news day and/or week).
some tiny item ‘moby’s 1/2 brother could be karl rove’.
again, more comedy.
a few weeks go by and i get a letter from the white house.
i’ve never received a letter from the white house, by the way.
i was a bit surprised, especially as the envelope looked as if it was from 1952.
maybe they bought a few million white house envelopes in 1952 and they’re still going through them.
who knows.
i open the envelope and read the letter(also on stationary from 1952).
here’s the text:
“dear moby(or is that mr moby),
it’s not me. i have no musical ability and am 19 years older(assuming you’re 37).
so you can breathe easier.
on the other hand, james carville is musically-inclined and bald, too. do you like crawfish etouffee?
sincerely,
karl rove”
needless to say i was a bit stunned.
a letter from karl rove?
the architect?
bush’s brain?
the man without whom gw would be doing the alligator on the floor of a hooters in biloxi?
i was also a bit stunned because the letter was funny.
karl rove is funny?
all of the pictures i’d seen of him depicted him as being quite dour and serious(this was before i saw the ‘mc rove’ videotape, confirming to me that he is, in fact, funny).
i called alexandra, who confirmed that the letter was for real.
so now i know a few things:
1-karl rove is not my 1/2 brother
2-karl rove believes that i’m 37(i’m actually 24)
3-karl rove is funny
4-the white house stopped buying stationary in 1952
ok, that’s my story.
now i’m going to philadelphia to go to the mutter museum.
if you’ve never been to the mutter museum you really do need to go.
although it’s not for the weak-stomached or faint(feint?)or heart.
but i love it, especially the soap lady.
-moby