some of you, like me, are vegetarians or vegans.
so some of you have had the experience of eating vegetarian or vegan food that is needlessly bad.
like on an airplane.
or at a charity event.
or a restaurant that doesn’t really understand vegetarian/vegan.
but the truth is that you almost have to go out of your way to make egregiously bad vegan food.
why not rice and beans?
simple, right?
ingredients: rice. beans. salsa.
everyone loves that.
maybe even throw in some tortilla chips to make it fancy.
spaghetti.
ingredients: spaghetti. tomato sauce.
it’s so easy.
so why can’t airlines and catering places just err on the side of vegan simplicity?
or microwaved vegan burritos for airplanes?
have you had those amy’s vegan burritos?
they’re fantastic.
and simple. a developmentally disabled monkey could make a microwaved burrito.
let’s establish some rules for institutional food preparation, ok?
1-most steamed vegetables are disgusting. exceptions being: lightly steamed broccoli and kale, and maybe carrots. that’s it. and vegetables should never be steamed for more than 120 seconds. otherwise they end up soggy. and soggy steamed vegetables are the universe’s way of crying inconsolably.
2-keep it simple. spaghetti and tomato sauce. microwaved burritos. rice and beans. salad.
3-cookies. vegan cookies are great. you can’t go wrong with a vegan cookie. even a bad vegan cookie’s pretty good.
i guess that’s it. now when/if you’re confronted with a crappy meal of:
undercooked white rice
oversteamed vegetables
deep fried toilet paper
etc
you can say to the food server/preparer/etc ‘perhaps you didn’t read the rules for institutional vegan food preparation?’
you can say that. they’ll appreciate it. well, they won’t. but you can still say it.
ok, time to go back in the studio and end this procrastiblogging.
-moby