after many months of careful consideration i have decided to run for president of the united states.
as much as i like john kerry i do think that the united states needs more than two options on the ballot in november.
so i’ve decided to re-launch the ‘whig’ party and run as it’s official candidate in november.
my platform will be one of isolationism and protectionism, and when elected i will push the united states to end all of its multi-lateral involvements and i will force the u.n to leave nyc and relocate to bermuda.
i will also hire skidmore, owings, and merril to update the white house and give it a more contemporary look, possibly borrowing some exo-morphic ideas from the ouvre of frank gehry.
i will also pursue a ‘back to the land’ policy that provides tax incentives for people who forego modern conveniences and return to a simpler, more amish style of life.
and in the interest of simplifying and streamlining the federal government i will create a ‘department of homeland things’ that will incorporate education, transport, firearms, agriculture, and defense.
and i will re-call all of our satellites so as not to block our view of the stars.
thank you,
moby
p.s-yes, happy april fools day.