ok, this entry will be a complaint.
of sorts.
a trivial complaint. but a complaint nonetheless. it has to do with airline food (wow, a novel subject for complaints, huh).
so i’m flying back from japan and the flight attendant in business class (yes, i fly business class on long trips, don’t hate me…) asks me if i have a special meal.
‘yes’, i say, ‘i have a non-dairy vegan meal’
she looks at me like i have three heads and says, ‘it says here vegetarian’.
‘well’, i say, ‘i had ordered a non-dairy vegetarian meal, which is vegetarian food with no animal products.’
so she says that she’ll go and check for me, which i thought was very nice.
so the first course arrives and it’s a shrimp cocktail.
‘excuse me,’ says i, ‘but i’m supposed to have a vegan meal?’
‘oh, isn’t this vegetarian?’ says she.
‘no’, speaketh i, ‘it’s shellfish. vegan means no animal products.’
i get the ‘you must be a communist from another planet’ look and she takes the shrimp away.
then she brings out the silverware and the butter. i’m starting to feel guilty about being an annoying passenger, but i say ‘uh, i don’t eat butter.’
i get a very annoyed ‘you must be some sort of atheist communist terrorist freak’ look and she takes the butter away.
then the food arrives…oh boy….broccoli that has been cooking for 6 days and some watery carrots and tomato sauce that tastes like monkey ass (and i do know what monkey ass tastes like, thank you very much). i take one bite and then politely say, ‘i’m not very hungry so i think i’ll pass on dinner’.
she makes a big fanfare and whisks the plate away from me letting me know that i’m the worst passenger that she’s ever dealt with. i understand that being a flight attendant on a 14 hour flight is hard work. and i certainly didn’t want to make her life difficult. but we had called the airline (continental, not to name names or anything) 3 times before the flight to make sure that a vegan meal would be on board (which i guess it was, watery broccoli and carrots and ass sauce). i didn’t want to be a bad passenger, but i had spent $6,000 on my ticket and i hadn’t eaten in a while and it was a 14 hour flight.
why can’t airlines just do simple vegan food? rice and beans and salsa? spaghetti and tomato sauce? a nice little salad? i’m not too picky. so if anyone can recommend an airline that actually does good vegan meals i’d love to know about it. british airways isn’t too bad, and the flight attendants actually sometimes know what vegan means. virgin isn’t too bad, either.
ok, i’m sorry to complain about something so trivial as poor little me being underfed on a 14 hour flight. it is trivial. and i certainly just made up for it with a mango-avocado-beetroot salad and a roasted red pepper and basil sandwich and a piece of vegan chocolate cake. so, sorry for my complaining and my petulance. but i really loathe bad food. food doesn’t have to be bad. raw broccoli is better than broccoli that is grey and waterlogged. same with most vegetables. and a simple tomato sauce of: tomatoes, onions, salt, garlic, olive oil, basil is fine. it almost seems like people sometimes go out of their way to make food terrible.
ok, i’m done complaining. and i’m back in nyc, the land of phenomenal food, so i’m feeling much better, thank you.
moby