6 a.m in mexico city.
which leads me to a subject that hasn’t, as of late, received a lot of attention here on moby.com.
and that would of course be insomnia.
the red eyed devil.
the tired, sandy-eyed, irritable, sleepy, depressed, red-eyed devil.
insomnia sucks ass.
i kind of think that my body clock (or whatever regulates my screwy and perverse circadian rhythms) either:
a-hates my guts
or
b-wants me to be a farmer.
you. you have no trouble sleeping. you can fly to australia and be adjusted in a couple of days. you can fly from l.a to london and fall asleep at a reasonable hour. you can lie there, sleeping soundly, while i wonder what exactly there is todo at 5 a.m in (insert the city of your choosing here).
the ‘you’ as referenced above is a hypothetical ‘you’. a ‘you’ who always seems to be sleeping better than ‘i’ happen to be sleeping.
why do some people sleep the soothing and profound sleep of the righteous, while some of us toss and turn like bed-ridden employees of a tobacco company?
sometimes insomnia just makes you want to cry. it makes you want to take your brain out of your brainpan and ask it such simple questions:
‘why won’t you let me sleep?’
‘we’re going to be tired later, but look, there’s a nice bed just waiting for us, and it’s 5 a.m and there’s nothing else to do, so can’t you just let me sleep? please?’
i’m convinced that somewhere in my genetic lineage i have squirrel dna floating around.
what else would explain my squirrelly and hyper little brain?
it would be one thing to have a squirrelly and hyper brain that led me to do trigonometry while i brushed my teeth, but my squirrelly and hyper brain just keeps me awake (and gives me the occasional panic attack, thanks, brain).
maybe the solution is sleep-deprivation instead of sleep-pursuit.
maybe i should just sleep when i sleep and wake when i wake.
i mean, it’s not like i have a job or anything, right?
oh, that’s right, i do have a job. one that involves travelling to different time zones and being coherent.
ok, enough whining. i’m going to go watch the sun rise over the volcanic mountains that ring mexico city.
there, that sounds nice, doesn’t it?
maybe i just worry too much.
moby
p.s-thanks to everyone for coming to our shows in mexico city. we had a wonderful time (apart from the red-eyed devil sitting on my shoulder and keeping me from sleeping)!