in minnesota.
the night before the first day of our tour.
how will it be?
what’s that song from the ‘sound of music’?
will i be pretty? will i be wrinkley?
that song? you know the one?
oh, it’s not from ‘sound of music’, its ‘que sera sera’. as popularized by ned flanders.
the thermostat in my hotel room is made be a company called ‘halen’. you know, ‘hot for teacher’ and whatnot. fuckin’ halen, dude.
and the lamp is made by rush. and the alarm clock is made by dokken. or am i just losing my mind.
‘every day i’m in here getting weaker, charlie’s out there getting stronger.’
yes, hotels. lots of terribly unhealthy things have happened in hotels.
sid and nancy.
the led zeppelin mud shark incident.
and so on.
i think that someone should start a bottled water brand called ‘bottled water’ lets simplify. or, in keeping with my classic-metal motif, ‘winger water’, or ‘ratt water’?
oh, see, leave me alone for a few hours and this is what happens.
and this is only the first day of the tour. and imagine how inane my updates would be if i started drinking and taking drugs? ‘dear lampshade, you mock me with your sex. dirty lampshade. i need to bathe you. yes. shower with me, lampshade. let me gaze upon you by the fire extinguisher.
baudelaire was right when he said, ‘i think that i shall never see, a lampshade lovelier than thee’. the toilet mocks me.’
yes, first day of the tour. and the tour hasn’t even started.
moby