ok,
‘chill the fuck out’ is an oxymoronic figure of speech.
but on a grander scale ‘gently pasteurized’ is profoundly oxymoronic.
doesn’t pasteurization involve killing billions of bacteria?
don’t get me wrong, as a gastro-intestinal creature i appreciate pasteurization.
but ‘gentle pasteurization’?
when the bacteria take over they will regard us as genocidal barbarians.
‘planet of the apes’?
probably not.
‘planet of the single cell micro-organisms’? most likely.
then we will all fear. cos they won’t be altruistic.
maybe they’ll be kind cos we have proven to be pretty decent caretakers of their kind.
ok, laugh if you want. but i won’t be the one to stop them from putting you in ‘multi-cellular internment camps’.
i’ll be their multi cellular lackey.
and gladly so.
moby
p.s-look at a ‘naked juice’. perhaps they have coined the phrase ‘gentle pasteurization’. i dunno. i like their juice. i just don’t want to be implicated, long term, in their anti-bacterial genocidal ways.