we’ve had this site up and running for around 15 months now. and in that time there have been some flame-wars and arguments, but for the most part everyone gets along quite well. and that’s good. within every community, be it virtual or physical, there’s bound to be the occasional (i definitely do not know how to spell that word, occassional?) episode of strife and conflict.
within this site we make a point of letting things run themselves. maybe more should be officially done to prevent strife and contention here, but i do tend to think that most people are civil and decent and that most strife will work itself out. it makes me sad that people feel compelled to leave every now and then, but these boards are democratic and people come and go of their own free will (i was going to use the word ‘volition’, which is a great word, but i oftentimes get accused of using words that are arcane and anachronistic, so i avoided ‘volition’. but it’s still a good word.) i’ve always found it wise to avoid unnecessary strife and aggravation.
if someone says something that you disagree with, by all means let them know that you disagree with them. but try to disagree with them in a civil and respectful way. sometimes we make the mistake of criticizing people and not their opinions. and sometimes it’s too easy to get carried away with anger, especially in the consequence-free world of the internet. so my advice would be to avoid people who are attacking you, and conversely to avoid attacking people. and the expression- ‘a kind word turns away wrath’ is very true.
responding to an attack with anger and strife just perpetuates the hostility. responding to an attack with patience and benevolence usually yields much better results.
and i might sound like a fruitcake in saying these things (i do like to use the word ‘fruitcake’, and it’s an especially apt word around the holidays…), but they’re what i believe.
responding to anger with kindness and understanding can be a really powerful thing indeed.
try it. you’ll be amazed at the results.
thanks
moby the fruitcake.