this is my favorite one, forwarded to me from the bombay times by pam lewis:
“”mung bean loving, tofu caressing, non-animal eating, left wing, techno millionaire baldy moby has confessed to going on a cocaine binge…””
‘mung bean loving, tofu caressing’ is possibly the nicest thing that’s ever been written about me. although i don’t really like mung beans and i’ve never actually caressed tofu. it’s still nice.
oops, as it’s monday i guess it’s time to go to the private bowling alley on my yacht and do pcp with some hermaphrodite rosicrucians.
moby the tofu caresser