the former head of the national council of evangelical christians who was discovered spending the churches money hiring male hookers and buying crystal meth?
ring a bell?
hmm?
when he wasn’t campaigning against gay marriage he was out trysting with male hookers and buying crystal meth on the mean streets of denver?
well, it turns out that the church has cured him of his homosexuality(not sure what they’ve done about the crystal meth problem).
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/06/AR2006110600076.html?nav=hcmodule
so, what’s next?
do they cure him of his caucasian-ness?
maybe cure him of his having mass and weight?
i love that 90 days of not paying for sex with male hookers makes him straight and ‘cured’.
i mean george bush has supposedly been sober for over a decade and he’s still an alcoholic(as i’m sure he’d be the first to admit).
i can just picture the dinner table conversation at the house of the church guy who ‘cured’ ted haggard.
‘so, dear, what did you do at work today? minister to the poor? visit people in prison? look after the sick?’
‘no, honey, i had a more important calling, i cured a man of his homosexuality.’
‘oh, that’s interesting, how exactly did you do that?’
‘we kept him from having sex with male hookers.’
‘and he’s “cured”?’
‘yup.’
‘ok honey. would you like some more yams?’
‘no, i want you to truss me up in the basement and hit me with a riding crop while singing ‘kokomo’.’
‘ok, honey, you’re the head of the household.’
we live in fun times.
do you ever wonder what interesting scandals might come our way in the next year?
i mean last year we had:
mark foley
ted haggard
dick cheney(remember when he shot the old guy in the face and then went and sobered up?)
britney(just pick one)
and so on.
who will be the awesome scandal provider of 2007?
will it be me?
will i be photographed at an nra meeting with bacon in my pockets?
will i be found to be the baby daddy of condi’s love child?
my life is kind of boring and scandal free.
any suggestions on fun scandals i could possibly be involved in would, of course, be taken to heart.
-moby