yes, jack handey is one of my heroes, too.
although i’ve never been able to figure out if he’s real. if there is a real jack handey, or if he’s a fictional creation, like ‘tipsy mcstagger’.
here are some of my favourite deep thoughts:
i bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, “”don’t forget the thick, heavy brows.”” then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they’d get mad and eat the snowman.
fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. for instance, let’s say you’re an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into dracula. the next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. he might call you on the radio and say he’s not dracula, but you just say, “”think again, bat man.””
too bad you can’t buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth