you know what drives me crazy?
when people needlessly criticize each other. i have so many friends and acquaintances who suffer from low self-esteem because at some point someone needlessly criticized them.
how many people do you know who are smart and talented and capable of accomplishing great things but who suffer from low self-esteem because they’d been criticized in their past? what compels a parent or friend or boyfriend or girlfriend to criticize and hurt someone? it seems like a profoundly cruel thing to do.
my experience is that there are two types of criticism, constructive and destructive criticism.
constructive criticism can be helpful, and usually takes the form of ‘you look great, but you’d probably look even better if you wore red shoes instead of yellow shoes.’ or ‘its a good song, but i know you could make the vocals better.’
and negative, destructive criticism is almost always hurtful. it usually takes the form of ‘you’re worthless and you’ll never accomplish anything.’ ‘you look like shit.’ ‘your new song sucks.’
people who can give you helpful, constructive criticism should be cherished.
and people who give you negative, destructive criticism should be avoided like the plague. when someone gives you constructive criticism they’re usually genuinely interested in your well-being and they want you to grow and succeed.
when someone gives you negative, destructive criticism they’re usually bitter and unhappy and cruel and they can only feel good by making other people feel bad.
if someone is giving you negative, destructive criticism, don’t listen to them. they’re wrong. it’s sometimes hard to realize this when the person giving you negative criticism is someone close to you (i.e-parent, teacher, boyfriend, etc). but you need to remember, anyone giving you negative criticism is just being cruel. they’re not concerned with your happiness or your growth or your well-being, they’re just trying to make you feel bad and keep you from succeeding. avoid them. avoid them like the plague.
negative, destructive criticism is a form of abuse. and it should be treated as such.
if someone close to you is always telling you ‘you’re fat, you’re stupid, you’re ugly, you’ll never succeed, etc’ it’s abuse, much the same as physical abuse. only cruel and unhappy and malicious people give out negative, destructive criticism.
ignore them and avoid them, cos they only want to hurt you.
well, that’s my 2 cents for today.
thanks,
moby