isn’t there a movie where someone swears ‘i’ll never be poor again!’
is it ‘gone with the wind’?
or ‘grey gardens’?
well, in that same spirit i have vowed to never be cold again. i went out today and bought a truckload of polar fleece gear and some thermalsocks and some more long-johns and some polar expedition mittens and an alpine face mask (balaclava style). i will not be cold again this winter.
such is my goal. for last night i was walking home from a birthday party and i was underdressed (wearing nought but a thong and a skimpy tshirt that said ‘don’t come a knockin’ if this van’s a rockin”. well, no. i was wearing winter clothing, but not enough winter clothing.) and i was cold and i decided that henceforth i won’t be cold again. this winter has been a bit extreme here in the nyc, as i’m sure that any new yorker will attest to. and people in the rest of the u.s say, ‘oh, yeah, but it’s colder here in___(insert town name)___’ yes. it might be colder there. but new yorkers live outside. all that we do is walk. people in the rest of the u.s are cold as they walk to their cars and as they walk from their cars. we new yorkers (well, dumb ones like me) walk everywhere. i walk to teany. i walk to the store. i walk to the brothel. etc. (i don’t walk to the brothel. i don’t know of any brothels in new york. i was just trying to be funny.) the point is that we (i, being dumb) walk a lot.
and 5 degrees fahrenheit might suck as you’re running from your car to your front door, but 5 degrees fahrenheit really sucks as you’re walking 1/2 a mile from your house to a restaurant/bar/movie theater/friends house/etc.
and new york in the winter is, as we all know, a wind tunnel.
so to make a long story even longer, i shall not be cold again this winter. except i’m kind of cold right now. but it’s probably imagined. cos the cold has rotted my brain. well, that and in-breeding. and getting dropped on my head as a child. and whatnot.
goodnight, and i hope that you’re warm wherever you are.
moby

cold.
very cold.
5 degrees fahrenheit (that’s -12 degrees celcius for you non-fahrenheit rest of the world).
very cold.
but nice, somehow.
well, nice insofar as i’m sitting inside and it’s warm here. inside.
walking around outside feels like you’re being hosed down with liquid nitrogen.
one time (in band camp) in high school i went winter camping and one night it got down to -3 degrees fahrenheit (-14 degrees celsius). sleeping outside in -3 fahrenheit(-14c)is, well, barbaric. and something that i’m not in any hurry to repeat.
and i’m feeling very pleased with myself cos i won at scrabble twice tonight.
and i was playing my friend deb who is a scrabble queen.
ah boy, i’m a geek.
i’m going to go on my roof and pee and see if the pee freezes before it hits the ground (it won’t, i know, but it’s a good excuse to pee in the name of scientific empirical research).
and i know that there are people in north dakota and minnesota reading this update and they’re laughing at me for thinking that 5 degrees fahrenheit (-12 c) is cold. yes, i know that in north dakota it gets down to -20 degrees fahrenheit and it’s a health hazard to even leave your house.
but i’m a wimpy new yorker, soft and bourgeoisie, and 5 degrees fahrenheit more than satisfies my criteria for very very cold weather.
thanks
moby

aggh.
cold. berlin.
i like berlin. but it is cold right now.
well, it might be lovely and warm outside, but inside this venue it is always cold.
i performed at this venue in july of 99 and it was freezing cold inside then, as well.
i need to go make a tea for myself.
a giant bathtub filled with hot tea.
and i will bathe in it.
-moby