my friend dan wrote this article for a local newspaper.
i’m reproducing it here cos i thought it was funny, disgusting, and relevant.
-moby
like, gross!
6 quick reasons to go vegan
by dan mathews
1) scat.
there are traces of turd in almost every piece of beef, chicken, and pork. you know how people soil themselves when they die? so do other animals, and slaughter is so messy that feces are smeared and packaged right along with the flesh. thatã•s what e. coli is, and according to the centers for disease control, 50 million people get sick from it each yearã‘3,500 fatally. eat shit and die, indeed!
2) fat.
americaã•s meat and dairy addiction has made us the fattest country in the world (vegetarians are one-tenth as likely as meat-eaters to be obese). this battle of the bulge has led to increased heart trouble, and㉠impotence.
yes, clogged arteries mean that blood has trouble getting to all your organs, even that one. if you care about yourself, consider not becoming an oversized, heart-diseased, unfuckable, meat-and-cheese-eating milk-swiller.
3) spew.
sea ã’foodã“ is the top cause of food poisoning, as itã•s the least inspected meat, and thatã•s saying a lot. every time fish breathe, the mercury and other contaminants in the cesspool that our rivers and oceans have become filter through their flesh, making them smelly little infectious pollution sponges.
seafood splatter, anyone? mercury poisoning, increasingly common, causes alzheimer-like symptoms. be a vegetarian, not a vegetable.
4) phlegm.
pus cells float around in every carton of milk, and milk causes your own mucus level to rise, which is why doctors tell you ã’no dairyã“ when you have a coldã‘you donã•t need more gunk to hawk up. weã•re the only animals to drink the milk of another species and also the only ones to drink it after infancy. grow up and switch to soy.
5) ouch!
animals on modern factory farms are kept in such close confinement that they go crazy and try to attack each other. farmers slice off chickensã• beaks and cowsã• horns and they grind down pigsã• teeth so they canã•t mutilate each other and bring down profits. still, tens of millions of chickens, pigs, and cows drop dead from stress or arrive at slaughterhouses crippled from the journey. bon appå½tit!
6) mad cow.
despite world health organization guidelines, weã•re still feeding diseased animals to cows, chickens, and pigs, a practice linked to mad cow disease. equally shocking is the fact that the head of the usda, the governmental department charged with inspecting the meat trade, chose the p.r. director of the national cattlemenã•s beef association as her chief of staff. now thatã•s food for thought.
(if youã•d like more reasons to go vegan or to order a free vegetarian starter kit, call 1-888-veg-food or visit goveg.com.)