a very strange fact about abusive men is that i’ve actually been friends with a few men who have ended up being abusive to their girlfriends. these are men who, at first, seem to be kind and reasonable and well-balanced, until you see them acting like tyrants to their girlfriends. it is a sickness, and the terrible irony is that women are blamed for their boyfriends pathological illness.
and these men who are prone to abusive (emotional and/or physical) behaviour are almost too good at figuring out which women will put up with them. i’ve known abusive men who have started dating smart and wonderful and secure women and after 6 months these abusive men have managed to turn these same women into desperate, fearful, and insecure people.
it’s horrifying. and maybe if all women knew as facts that when a boyfriend/husband is abusive and critical he’s wrong, and the moment that a boyfriend/husband does anything physical against his partners will he’s wrong. as i said before, abuse, whether it’s emotional, physical, or sexual, is never the womans fault. and there are no exceptions to that rule. when a man is in any way abusive it’s his fault and it’s a manifestation of his sickness and pathology.
-moby
