so i’ve spent the last couple of days receiving emails from friends of on-line magazines who have reported on my cat bite and ensuing infection.
i feel kind of foolish, actually.
if i had saved a busload of nuns from gila monsters or if i had subdued a cadre of al qaeda wackos then i would understand the news attention.
but for goodness sake, it was only a stupid cat bite!
granted i was inches from death when i faced off with this insane feline (who actually weighed close to 300 pounds). it had the dalai lama in its jaws and i fought it tooth and nail until the dalai lama (d.l, as i like to call him) was free.
i lost a lot of blood, but it was worth it. but the cat survived…and i know that once a cat gets a taste for human blood they become crazed with the lust for fresh carnage. so i will have to venture out once my wounds have healed and find this murderous cat and challenge it to a rematch.
i will be selling the footage of this rematch to ‘pay per view’. and while the cat might weigh 3 times what i do and while it might have giant fangs and razor sharp claws, i have cunning and stupidity on my side.
see, the cat assumes that i’m bright, and that my friends will be its fatal weakness, its achilles heel, its tabula rasa, its porcini del vecchio, its etc.
oh, i should just go to sleep now, right?
but thanks for the attention. the next time i get wounded in a fierce battle with a member of the animal kingdom i’ll be sure to embellish the story so as to justify your kind attention.
i do feel like a schmuck getting a lot of attention for a dumb old cat bite.
-moby