Journal / so, the conservatives in the republican party have released a ’10 things we believe’ platform

so, the conservatives in the republican party have released a ’10 things we believe’ platform. and they’re saying that if anyone disagrees with 3 or more of the things on their list they won’t be eligible for republican funding. let’s look at the list, shall we? and i’m going to be presumptuous and challenge a few of the things on the list (in parentheses).

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill; (even though the federal government grew faster and was at largest for the 8 years the republicans had control of the house and senate and bush was president??) 

(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare; (‘market based health care reform’ meaning ‘the insurance companies give us republicans obscene amounts of money so we’ll let them do whatever they so choose’?)

(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation; (ok, so that means no more government subsidies to oil and coal companies? how about that? yes? and clearly global warming is either a ‘myth'(even though every scientist on the planet believes that it exists) or it’s gods will, as god clearly hates coastal cities).

(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check; (the people who give you campaign money hate the unions, eh, whatever. old news.)

(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants; (you hate brown people and you want a wafer-thin veneer of respectability on your xenophobia and racism. no surprises here.)

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges; (will you promise to stand up for this during re-election even if the surges don’t work?)

(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat; (the details here are amazing. containment how? or is that too complicated of a question for the red-neck republicans who have never actually left their home state?)

(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act; (you hate gays, again, no surprises here).

(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing, denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and (so, charging people for life-saving health care isn’t ‘rationing’? isn’t that like medical darwinism? only letting people live when they can afford their medical bills?)

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership (that’s working out really well, as the news is never filled with stories about people gunning down innocent civilians, is it? oh, that’s right, americans go crazy and shoot each other on a daily basis. good thing the republicans want to protect americans right to buy guns at gun shows with no background check and then shoot kids in a playground. that’s true patriotism.)

so, that’s the republican platform in 2009. they left out ‘believe that the world was created in 6 days in 6,000 b.c, although i guess it’s understood that no republican could possibly win without supporting the creationist agenda. american politics are never boring, huh. well, at least not for me.